The “what ifs”

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We started in a trauma splint, graduated to splint, moved onto a cast, then another cast, and we are back to a splint. It’s been nine weeks, nine weeks of using crutches to get around. It’s been nine weeks since my foot has had any weight on it. My leg from the knee down looks like a skinny tooth pick.

I have to remind myself that everything I am going through is so that my leg will heal and heal correctly. But considering last year I went through surgery on the same body part, I’m finding trouble staying positive. To compound things, my recovery is not going the way it should. Last week I should have transitioned to a walking boot, but instead I had to do another MRI.

Having a positive outlook is not easy, especially when you have to psyche yourself up for each step along the way. The other tactic of preparing for the worst possible outcome takes a toll too. The worst possible outcome approach works better when things start going right. If the healing process does not go smoothly, then you have to actually deal with the “what if”.

Though my foot is not a life-threatening situation, it is life altering (especially if the “what ifs” keep happening). Right now I am tired. It’s not always easy taking it all in stride. Sometimes I jut want to scream and sometimes I just want to lie in bed and sometimes I want to eat a bunch of ice cream and watch TV.

Heal

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