Control this

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Many of us go about our day thinking we control the world around us.  Then something like this crisis happens,  and the sense of control we once felt is gone.  It slipped away before we had a chance to grab on to it.

A crisis like the COVID virus, highlights how little control we really have in our lives.  Job, security, health, money.

It is really unsettling, the feeling of losing control.  But what did you really control?  As much as we like to think we control things, it can be an illusion and most things we don’t control at all.

Right now the place I feel I have the most control is at home.  Why, because I can pick when we eat, I can control what I bring into and out of the house, I can put things where I want them.  And of course when I am at home, I can wash my hands all day.

And then, I have to go shopping.  Which fills me with a sense of dread.  Yes, I can put on gloves and a mask.  But really, I can’t control if someone I interact with (even from 6 feet away) is out and is sick.  And it’s scary.  So I hurry home to go back to my safe place.

And as safe as I feel at home, I know that anything could happen.  (As we learned a few months ago when the wind decided to blow a piece of drip guard off the house.  No control there.)  But even if we can control most of the variable in the house, this feeling of control comes at a price.  It’s a small place and it means our world is just our house and our yard.

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